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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Sexily-incorrect


NCW chief suggested that women loosen up about being called ?sexy?. Is that so bad?

Boys pass comments on girls terming them sexy but sexy means beautiful and charming. We should not see it in a negative sense.? So said Mamta Sharma, head of the National Commission for Women ? and the earth hasn?t stopped shaking since. She has been attacked from the left and right, told to take ?moral responsibility? and step down from her office. But let?s cut Sharma some slack ? maybe all she tried to do was take the dark, shaming edge off the word, remind her audience that being called sexy is not always an expression of dominance and threat, sometimes it is just acknowledgement of attractiveness. Maybe she was trying to say that feminists can be on good terms with pleasure, with sexuality, and with men. That?s a valid point, and a new one for official feminism in India ? though it?s hardly a revelation to most young women. Just ask Vidya Balan.

But how the word is received depends crucially on the context. Unwanted attention (?hey, sexy?) can be a deliberate invasion of a woman?s privacy and solitude. It dehumanises them and reduces them to female bodies ? which is why the word is often repugnant. If it makes a woman feel objectified, then it is most certainly an offensive word. And embracing sexy, as Sharma advocates, should not mean underestimating the reality of sexual harassment in workplaces, streets and families, or of power asymmetry ? matters that the NCW is directly tasked with addressing. What?s more, we know from Western experience how ?sex-positive feminism? can often end up with women simply internalising male ideas of the erotic, simulating ?sexy? rather than genuinely expressing their sexuality.

The point is, every woman has the right to decide what is degrading and what is liberating for her. Neither Mamta Sharma nor her outraged opposition can adjudicate when sexy is ?positive? or ?negative? for other women, in various situations ? so they should save their energies for real battles.


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