Crazy sexist advertising. Can we call it out? Does that make us B****es?A few weeks back, when product manager Shanley Kane put the Silicon Valley startup Geeklist on blast for its sexist promotional video—in which a panti-clad co-ed dances “girls on trampoline” style for the camera—the young tech world was highlighted for its nonchalant sexism. Just days earlier, another company, Sqoot, had taken heat for advertising “beer-serving women” as entertainment at a hackathon event.
But what was most disturbing to me wasn’t the sexism itself (I’m not the type to get offended by sex in marketing. I’m sold stuff by sexy women in 99% of my life. That ship has sailed), it was the heat Kane took on Twitter for calling attention to the video in the first place. The first tweet by Kane on the issue was tame enough: “@csanz @rekatz why the ads with a woman in her underwear dancing around to dupstep?”
Almost immediately the conversation was about Kane’s behavior—her tone and the fact that she expressed her opinion in a public forum—rather than the video itself. As Rachel Balik pointed out on ForbesWoman, Katz also complained that he once bought Kane and her friends drinks and thus didn’t understand why she “couldn’t be nicer.”The whole conversation can be read here.
While the incidents led both companies to apologize and launch an initiative to support and promote the achievements of women in technology, the response from the vox populi on the worldwideweb was overwhelmingly one of “shut up, woman.” Over on CNET, Ben Parr tried to rationalize: “The problem is simple: technology is still a male-dominated industry. Male-dominated teams lack female viewpoints, which can contribute to the objectification of women.”
For Balik, the San Francisco-based writer who covered up the affair in a guest post on our site, the sexist back-and-forth hit especially close to home when she began receiving responses to her article from male colleagues and friends. Two former coworkers told her they didn’t like her article because “We want to be able to look at scantily clad women,” adding that, since the tech world is mostly male, “What’s wrong with marketing to the audience?” Another emailed her and told her she should re-think the photo used in her bio as she looked like she looked a little, well, post-coital. Yes, really. The fact that her public criticism of her industry upset her male friends is one thing. That they used it as an opportunity to attack her character is another entirely.
But the truth of the matter is, casual (and even not-so-casual) sexism isn’t just a technology or startup problem. In 2011, there were over 11,000 officially charges of sexual harassment filed with the EEOC resulting in more than $52 million in settlements. And research shows that while the vast majority of women say they’ll not only call out but shut down sexual harassment or sexist behavior in a hypothetical situation, in practice next to none of us do.
And what’s worse, when we do raise the alarm, we’re most often met with criticism, threats or even retaliation. At the very least, women who call out sexism can expect to hear the B word, which makes me beg the question: Is it even possible to nip sexism in the bud without a little mud getting slung your way? Of course, researchers and “experts” say yes, that men actually like being reminded of their sexist behaviors and will, in fact, like you more for it. But in real life, women know that’s usually not the case.
When I first took this question to the social graph, hoping to crowd source a helpful guide for women to confront sexism on the job in a healthy, mutually beneficial sort of way, I was met with case after case of failed attempts to do just that. A few examples from different industries:
“I took out a prospect for lunch … an old[er] man. (I’m in the insurance industry). We had a nice lunch and he referred to his desire to become a client eventually. At the end of the lunch, I stood up to shake his hand, and he pulled me forward and kissed me. This is right after he went on about his lovely wife and grandchildren. Total pig. I pulled back in shock and mentioned his wife, and he said, “maybe we can do this again, but over dinner?” I said a firm “No!” and of course out comes the B-word. “Well, you don’t have to be a bitch about it,” he grumbled.”
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